There is no simple answer to this question, considering the reasons for infidelity or cheating could be several. For instance-
History of infidelity in their family of origin as hurt lies deep in the past. The belief about the opposite gender- women are prey to be caught and women believe they are nothing without a man and sometimes it is deeply rooted in the marriage itself.
The probability of cheating happens much more when the above reasons are prominent in the relationship considering the foundations of an excellent or happy marriage is good communication, a strong sense of partnership and immense respect, trust and honesty, and a wonderful sense of humor in the relationship.
Also, new research is illustrating that older people are more likely to cheat on their spouses compared to their younger counterparts. As per the research, many who cheat have been in marriages for 20-30 years.
Absolutely, although reasons for a marriage to fail can be several it is imperative that the couple takes onus for what might have gone wrong to cause the breakdown in the marriage.
Peoples who have been betrayed have to understand that there is no shame in staying in the marriage – they are not doormats, they are fighters. They need to understand that the strength they provide to their families by working through the pain and the relationship is enormous. Most often times it is important to note a fatal blow such as infidelity can inspire change that was sorely needed in the relationship. Many cares deeply for the well being of their partner even while lying to them, just as those who have been betrayed by their partner continue to love them wants to find a way to live and stay together.
Cheating leaves both partners feeling confused, angry, betrayed, sad and in a state of shock and grief. Shock is a very normal reaction to discovery of infidelity. The discovered person is often in a state of shock and grief and feels scared and confused as the discoverer. Therefore it is unwise to take an immediate action on impulse after discovery – it is important to reflect and reconsider. As the dust of discovery settles and clears , many times couples feel they are at a better place than before in a relationship
To decide whether you should “leave or go “after an infidelity it is important to look at it as a thought – through solution. It is unlike any other decision making process we make in life. We can’t read a few reports and ratings to make this decision. It is not an intellectual exercise. For many couples, this situation happens unpredictably. To evaluate and get out of the painful spiral – ask yourself the following questions to respond to the most pressing and important thing to decide whether you should “leave or to stay” – CLARITY
According to American Psychological Association infidelity in the US accounted for 20-40 percent of divorce. Also in a Gallup poll, researchers noted that more than half (62%) of partners say they would leave their spouse and get a divorce if they found out their spouse was having an affair, 31% percent would stick it out and not divorce
However, in reality Divorce magazine, study notes that about 70% of couples actually stay together after an affair is discovered.
It is noted that Adultery is still one of the most cited reasons for a divorce.
According to a study published by National Institutes of Health (NIH) one partner in 88 percent of couples cited infidelity as the major reason for their divorce.
According to the American Association of Marriage and family therapy -, national surveys indicate that 15% of married women and 25% of married men have had extramarital affairs. The incidence is 25% higher when emotional and sexual relationships without intercourse are included.
Marriage is an exclusive relationship. Marriage isn’t just a contract between two people. It is also a status that organizes and directs behavior, ideally to serve important social purposes, most importantly a safe and stable relationship to raise children. Marital fidelity is also an ideal that calls for commitment and restraint. It provides us an expectation and an ideal in relationship to hold us back from weakness, intense and uncontrollable desire and failure.
I certainly believe human beings can be wired for monogamy if they look at the merits of the relationship and what it provides –
Marriage is an exclusive relationship. It is beyond sex and stability. There is much more richness and value to it. Being faithful to one another, growing old together, enjoying the accomplishments in career and raising decent children and grandchildren are all a few of the prominent merits
Monogamy is a pledge of fidelity and that’s what people want as a pillar of marriage. It is about being an adult and living with some of your fantasies and desires unfulfilled in relation to something more stable, committed and profound you acquire in your life.
Many marriages can survive infidelity and also get it to a better re-start. This will truly depend on how much the couple is willing to acquire skills to make the marriage successful and agree in good faith that marriage is an exclusive relationship. If the couple is able to put in the effort to establish some core foundations such as
Some researchers have estimated that marital infidelity occurs in about 2.3 percent of married women and 4.3 percent in men. It is also predicted that almost 25% of men and 11% of women will at some point in their lives will indulge in infidelity in their relationships. The key to a marriage surviving an infidelity is dependent on good marital history. If 20% of a couple’s history is simultaneously viewed as positive by both spouses, they have a greater and a better chance – 90% chance of making it.